Funny Quotes

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.
Robert Orben

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.
Shirley Temple

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.
Joan Rivers

Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
Mark Twain

I haven’t reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.
Ilie Nastase


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